Baby is gone. No longer growing inside me.
I had it washed last week.
It was full 2 months at that time..
I am not sure if I will ever regret this decision but definitely I am less stress now.
Things are getting back to normal, as well as my body is adapting back to normal diet.
It was after a long struggle that I came up with the decision.
I thought I was prepared for motherhood..but I was wrong.
Perhaps I am just not strong and brave enough.
I am not ready for it..and I don't want to bring the baby to the world, yet let it suffer.
Cos I cannot be sure that I will be financially-abled for baby..
And I still want to continue my studies, I still have yet to tour around with Dearie..I don't want to spoil the relationship between my parents and I..I wish to give my parents a better life..
It just doesn't seems right at the moment for motherhood..especially without Dearie by my side...
It hurts me when I came up with this decision..
I cried non-stop after the operation..
I forced myself outta the bed at the clinic because I was so weak to move..
Wanhua accompanied me..and brought me to her house to take care of me..
I became so emotional that I wrote to Dearie and scolded him..
I felt so guilty now.
It still hurt me so badly when I thought of it..
Went to visit Dearie on Monday..
He received my letter which I written one month ago..
In the letter, I told him I want to keep the baby..
Initially he smiled at me..and said that since I have already decided, why do I still ask him..
He seems happy with it..and claims that the name zuizui given for baby sounds so awful..
I was so heartbroken and tears started to fall..
He was shocked with my crying until his mama told him that I have already aborted..
I cried even harder..
He then asked his mama to wait outside and let us have a talk privately..
He consoled me..asking me not to cry..
and he keeps assuring me that we will definitely have our own child in future..
He said that we should have some time for our 二人世界 first.. =.=
I told him how heartache I was while I was crying..and I saw his tears rolling down too..
I know he is feeling terrible too..but all he did was wipe away his tears, continue to console me..
He tried all ways to make me laugh..
I seriously have a strong urge to want to hug him tight..
But I can't... *sobz*
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Ok..let me stop talking about those upset things..
It only makes me cry again and again..
Let me update some other things else..
I wana thank my sweetest sister who took care of me after the operation.
After fetching me back to her house, she cooked dinner for me..
Look at what she cooked..
Actually there were alot more..
She said I need to eat more..and I actually wanted to drink ice milo..but she disallowed.
Because I am not supposed to drink cold drinks.. Haha!
Really sounds like my nanny.. kekex!
But I really wana thank her..
Not only she took care of me..she consoled me..and stayed by my side throughout..
I love her so much..
Bought N97 on impulse 2 weeks back..
Urm..I love it alot of course.
But I just feel that I shouldn't have spend so much money..
After I gotten back my E71 from the IO, even more I feel its such a waste of money..
But anyway I still love the N97 la..
I love the slide up screen with the keyboard-like keypad..
It just looks like a little palm top.
And because its white in colour, I don't bear to use the keypad..haha!
Have been using touch screen all the while..
Abit lame actually..
Finally gotten back my E71!!
Used it only for 4 months and it has been locked up..
Now it still looks like brand new.. LOL
I am now using the E71 more than N97..
Becuase I miss it so much..
Really love that phone alot..
It fills with lotsa memories of Dearie and me..
Initially I wanted to sell it..cos it still worths alot.
But I can't bear to..I am still considering. haha!
Started packing my room..
Everything was in a mess and so dusty..
look at the number of letters I have in just a few months..
I took such a long time to sort them out..
But actually most of them are bills..
Pay until I am scared.. LOL
I threw lotsa thing away..
Simply have too many junks..haha!
Most of the useless bags are gone..
Books, clothes and lotsa soft toys that are no longer in use..are being given away..
Mama bringing them to Malaysia for poor kids..
Saw the Jay Chou collection I have..
I didn't realise I have so many of his albums already until I clean them up.. kekex!
Re-painted my room too!
That was something I wanted to do 1 year ago..
It was finally being carried out. Haha!
Painted my whole room PINK!!
And I drew a big hello kitty head on the wall..
I enjoyed 'vandalising' my wall.. LOL
Took one whole day to do it..
And didn't sleep for the whole night..
My whole room looks so sweet now..
Painted the flowers up too..the whole room looks so artistic. kekex.
Zuizui was saying my hello kitty looks so fat..
Hello, I drew it free-handed without any reference..
I feel this is already very good k.. LOL
At first I thought mama is going to scold me crazy..but she didn't.
Instead, she asked me to help her draw a Mickey Mouse on her wall.. =.=
The hello kitty took almost half my life..
By the time I finish the Mickey Mouse, I think I am dead liao..
Changed my internet to Starhub maxonline.
Initially wanted to buy the HP mini..
But starhub promotion is giving HP mini for free with the maxonline premium package..
So I signed it..
But..normally free things doesn't seems to free afterall..
Paid alot for the whole package..the modem, the dongus..activation fee..etc.
But still, its worth it.
Actually wanted to get pink HP mini..but the one starhub giving out is white and its specially designed by designer..limited edition.
So I was quite ok with it..
White or pink are both fine with me..
Went Sim Lim Square yesterday to get a new laptop cooler as well as the little pinky fan..
Its so cute isn't it?
I love my whole room now..
No longer the dusty and messy room..
Spent days packing and cleaning it..
The next room has now become my dressing room.. kekex!
The hello kitty fridge is finally working.
I think previously I didn't shift the button to the cool side..
that's why its not cold at all..
I thought it's useless..
Luckily I didn't throw it away.
Finally I have a working fridge in my room..kekex.
Met Mingwei at Sim Lim Square yesterday.
He is back there to work..
And I went over to call him..in the end kena chop.
He asked me to buy camera from him. haha!
He was so on in showing me the video camera...and I kept making him busy by asking him to show me this and that.
In the end I bought a video camera from him..
Sanyo Xacti VPC-CG9.
Its a old model but its cheap and worth.
The camera is 12 mega pixels and video at 9 mega pixels.
Initially when it launched..it was selling at $1999. OMG.
But I only got it at $360. Haha!
Few months back Ah Cat bought one for his girlfriend too..at $400+
And Wei gave me so many freebies..
He gave me an extra original battery, a 8GB SD..a hardcase protector...
However, I wanted pink but there is no more stock for pink.
Left only grey and black.
Black was the last piece..so I chose black.
Initially I wanted to buy it for my papa..cos he always wanted a video camera.
But after I played with it..I like it alot. Haha!
Maybe keeping it for my own use.
Can use it for the batam trip with zuizui they all.. kekex!
Few days back, Wei and zuizui brought me to Malaysia to eat "Lok Lok".
It was my first time trying it!
Its like the 串串乐 in Taiwan..
I got so excited that I was "wa-ing" all the way..
And I was fascinated with the sauces..
The chilli is power..
Wei started to tell zuizui that I just came down from the mountain.. LOL
They are really big eater..they ate so many sticks!
And they said that the next time we go, we challenge see who can eat the most sticks.
The person who eat the least will pay..
Obviously bullying me lor..KNS =.=
Hope to go again soon..
Really like the "Lok Lok"..
Actually I know there are alot people who dote on me alot..
Really thank them so much for always accompanying me and bringing me out to play.
Especially zuizui, mingwei, mingdi, ah cat they all..
They always never fail to make me laugh..
I really feel like a little princess among them..
Being doted and taken care of..
But still, I wish Dearie is here with us..
I miss him so much.
